impRAWvise 

I have started last year to study nutrition officially so to speak, at a local University. Just to run some numbers by you: its been 6 months so far, the first semester went well, I passed all my exams, with 70-80 % marks, and by going to pretty much 70-80 % of all the classes and labs, all of this while I continued to work full time at my job at the time. I decided to quit my previous job in December and ended it officially this January. Now I am going to start a new job, a new chapter of my life and continue to do this at the same time with my nutrition study. What is really great so far by having to combine the two areas of my life, job and study, is that job wise I have been and I will continue to work from home. But on the other hand when it comes to the university studies that are some mandatory courses there which require my physical presence.

So I find myself right now, truly and honestly asking myself: is it really worth it? To have to jump back and forth between the truth and go through stressful times, considering that I have already been experiencing a burnout last year, before starting the nutrition studies as a second specialisation, is it really worth it to invest this time and energy into something that right now might look like just another uncertain future possibility when focusing on a job I have is something palpable that brings me benefits in real time? Maybe, just maybe. It is not about pessimistic, it is about being realistic I guess, or at least that how I see it right now.

Instead of having unrealistic expectations I think that, for the moment, it is best to just focus on what is right here right now and see how it goes. And, of course, another important aspect at this time it to embrace the theory of delayed gratification, so to speak, when in comes to studies, in terms of: invest now, (perhaps, most probably) benefit later. When having to work as well at the same time is all about finding the right balance or state of harmony between work and study if deciding to perform both in order to give my best and not get back into a burnout.

The beginning of this chapter of my life including and taking into consideration a potential professional career inside this domain of nutrition and dietetics has been exciting, fascinating and fuelled with joy, accomplishment for taking this step, feeling like I am doing something with my life, something that is meaningful and purposeful. But that faded quickly afterwards. When you see what it actually takes to pursue a bachelor program starting at 31 years old and how doing it at the same time with a full time job feels, in my case resulting in pretty much 12 hours of intense daily work, its not so satisfying or exciting anymore, it is just stressful and it leads nowhere. Meaning, I am a high believer in a qualitative stand over a quantitative stand. Sure, both have their implications but it is a matter of productivity and energy investments as well in an efficient way.

I have never believed in the extra hours models or in working 12 hours a day be it a job or a combo of activities, job and study, job and other extra activities for constant learning and growth. It has to be efficient work, not time consuming nonsense. I see and I understand that things are not always simple, but working your butt off for nothing with a clear outcome in mind is not the way either. For the moment considering the complexity of the situation I have decided that so far, as I transition into beginning a new job in parallel with the university studies, I am setting an intention that for this time to just take it one step at a time.

And just like relationship need constant care, involvement, commitment and nourishment in order to thrive and flourish, therefore I have decided to apply the same model to my studies and my work (as a matter of goal setting and designing) in order to stay grounded and focused and not get thrown away or get all over the place by the hard or emotionally exhausting times and circumstances. Therefore, today, each day, I make I conscious choice to do my best in a matter and in a rhythm that works for me in order to be able to take care of myself and do the things that matter most for me, simply be ok with myself as I continue to grow and evolve and of course heal, on a day to day basis.