impRAWvise 

There is something deeply magical ( as in a shift of perception ) and an even deeper healing that happens when we simply make a conscious choice to release the grip on things, wishes, desires, let go of what doesn’t serve us anymore and choose to have faith in the unknown. I have written before about uncertainty and similar topics, but today, I just felt it was about time to share my own perspective ( derived of course from personal experience, so yes, very subjective, I know, but quite useful as well ) and perhaps even time to challenge my own view of things and see what unfolds.

As a person medically diagnosed with anxiety ( so yes, it’s not just in my head ), it’s very difficult to navigate uncertainty and of course anything that pretty much includes unknown factors and elements. But, as we all know, those are natural and organic parts of our day to day lives, so how do we get to better navigate those states of being and not only stay true to ourselves but also stay grounded in our truths? Sometimes its easy, it just comes naturally, I am sure you have experienced this too: everything falls naturally into place, we are spontaneous, joyful and we just go with the flow, even though we do not know exactly ( yet ) what we are moving towards, we have that inner confidence that we are indeed moving in the right direction, some call it intuition or divine guidance, some are just naturally more skilled at it, and some of us, the anxious ones, just pray for it to last as long as possible before we fall back into the dark nights of the soul, filled with intense and deep emotions and emotional fluctuations that would, actually be hard for anyone, even for the securely attached people to navigate, but get even harder to manage for someone who is having a hard time regulating their emotional setting.

On a Friday night, I went out, and I felt that trust, that faith, that deep confidence in my self, I felt aligned with my truth and I was able to be fun, to have fun, to be enthusiastic and spontaneous and this does not come easily for me ( again, the anxiety stuff ). But this night was different. I was just living in my truth. It does happen from time to time, which is amazing as it was not an isolated incident, but, still, there is plenty of stuff to navigate through my day to day life. One of those moments was when I discovered the ( raw ) vegan lifestyle, I just felt deeply connected and so so good by making a conscious choice to not only adopt this as a lifestyle ( because its a lifestyle not a diet, wink wink ) and make it work my way, so improvise along the way. In the beginnings it was definitely a leap of faith, a process of unlearning ( what I knew to be true for about 19 years at that time ) and relearning, and of course not only that but, experimenting and actually choosing what works for me, by collaborating of course with health professionals along the way and by constantly being open to learn, heal and grow.

This applies to many other areas of life, maybe you have been dating for a while and now you decide that it all just got too messy and you need some time to regroup, and being single is just something that you have not fully integrated yet, but are still open to explore it. Magic ( as a change in perception ) things happen when we allow ourselves the time and space to be open to explore, to heal and to move on from what doesn’t serve us anymore. Maybe you just got the courage to tell someone you really like them and you would love to get to know them better, and their reply is just pure silence. That is also unknown in one of its purest forms. It does feel difficult to navigate, but, sometimes silence is the right answer. And perhaps, sometimes, the simple fact that you expressed yourself truly and fully is exactly what you needed, no matter how that interaction may or may not evolve in the future. Sometimes, all we need to do is just express what is going through our minds, and trust the process, however it may unfold.

The ideas of unknown and uncertainty used to be huge triggers and red flags for me, and I still have a lot of work that I have to do on myself, but I do believe in life long learning so that’s a starter. As I have been working on my resilience practice, both in therapy and in a medical setting as well as on a day to day basis, I noticed that with time, and lots of practice it does get easier, its not always perfect, but, sure, its a work in progress so its not even supposed to be. What I am most grateful for from my therapy sessions is learning that its ok to be experimenting those emotional shift and its ok and normal for my emotional state to fluctuate in a specific range, and even when it gets too much to handle, its also ok, simply because, next time, as I know better, I shall do better.