impRAWvise 

Well, not to brag but, for me personally it’s been a really hard year. There have been lots of changes, sure, changes are a natural part of life, but the timing and the emotional intensity that accompanied those changes was, at times, simply too much for me personally. Therefore what I have noticed, as a result of this and as a response to the general confusion and lack of belonging that I’ve experienced this years was this feeling of disconnect, like its hard to feel good in my body, in my mind, like its hard to be myself, and ultimately like I am no longer at home, be it a place to call home, nor a mental space or state of mind, to be at ease. I was lacking both those things, and the connections that I’ve felt this year in regards to this matter, were not just superficial, but also very short in terms of duration, so to speak. Sure, disconnect, its a normal reaction from our minds and our bodies, a sometimes, very adaptive response when it comes to experiencing high levels of stress and just just that but experiencing those high levels of stress on constant basis and for a prolonged amount of time. Sometimes, our bodies can literally shut down in response to stress, and provoke or even stimulate a cronic state of pain or suffering, same principle applies to the mind as well. An adaptive strategy to conserve resources and to address the pain of suffering. But, it ain’t gonna last forever.

This week, I have noticed an interesting shift. I’ve known about this from before, but I was not actively putting it into practice, until I noticed the shift in perception that I was going through. I have recently moved with my dogs to a new home (well, yeah, that’s the problem right there, its doesn’t feel like a home yet, but hopefully, with time, we will get there), we rented a new place, and this generated a lot of stress. I tried to anchor myself with routines and key practices, in order to feel like home, but it was just simply not working. And then, something interesting happened. I reconnected with my old therapist, and scheduled a session. (for a year or so I have been working with another therapist and as the new therapist was leaving for maternity leave, I was faced with an interesting choice: should I go back to my past therapist or should I start again, but my intuition told me to try going back to my past therapist first and see how it goes, so that is exactly what I have done). This therapy session helped me so much, simply because, I noticed by the end of the session that what I was actually feeling was this cozy and warm feeling of being at home. Of course, it’s a mental space, but it’s also a state of mind, and it just does so much good to know that you are in a safe, secure space. It’s just amazing. After the session, as I gently allowed my self to sink into that feeling, I was inspired to check for more places and spaces, to to speak, be them physical or mental, that could, potentially at least, bring me that feeling of home in order to actually feel better and do better on a day to day basis.

So, some other things that I noticed this week, are a couple of other places / things / interactions that also help me enormously to tap back into that sense of being at home, feeling at home. And some of those would be: going to my favorite coffee shop, feels like home for sure, enjoying a cup of tea or coffee, definitely feels warm and super cozy, going out with friends, or even better, seeing an old friend and being reconnected with them after a while, super cozy and wonderful, also, going to my favorite bookshop, or reading a good book, absolutely feels like home. As the feeling of disconnection started to fade, I also realised that this is a constant practice, getting back to ourselves and taking time for ourselves to be with ourselves and take great care of ourselves, usually, does not happen by default in our modern day and world, but we do need to make a conscious choice and stick to it in order to make it happen and have lasting results. But, with time, and of course, with practice, it does get easier and we are seeing progress as well as results in terms of that good feeling. One last thing, probably expected, that helped me a lot, other than daily routines and so on, to stay connected and get that feeling of home, safe secure, cozy and warm, are, for sure, my dogs, because, when you get an animal companion, its pretty simple to know, home is where your heart is, and pretty much of the time your heart is (in my case) where my dogs are. My dogs are my family, and as we all know, family is home for so many of us, even if its not the best its the place where we get to return to at the end of the day, and that is why cultivating healthy relationships has also great significance in buiding long term lasting trust and connection.