impRAWvise 

Have you ever had a dream that never came to life? A dream that is so vivid and so true to your soul, that you know that it is what you are meant to be or do, but in fact you are so scared of how good it might feel, how much goodness it would bring into your life, that you actually keep pushing it away from you, being paralysed by the overwhelming feeling that it might just be too good to be true? Have you ever doubted yourself, or experienced impostor syndrome, not because you have actually done something to prove that thing is not meant for you, or that you can’t actually do it, but simply because you have fallen off your path and experienced a deep sense of disconnect and a lack of faith? I do, I did, and I am pretty sure that most of us have gone through that kind of experience, or will at least once in their lifetime experience some sort of this disconnect from our own purpose and sense of meaning in our lives. Sometimes, its not the fear of failure that keeps us from doing the great things that we are meant to do and to be, but instead its quite the opposite, its the fear of success, the fear of not being or doing enough, and the deep fear of experiencing judgement or rejection from our peers for having the courage to do that, to take that leap of faith towards our unique purpose and just go with the flow.

For me personally, this dream is related to photography and visual arts. Even though I got my college degree in this field, I always experienced a deep fear about performing and taking projects, or even working / having a career inside this area, while still experiencing a very deep connection and a sense of purpose and meaning, flow in regards to this matter. Whenever I got myself engaged in activities that required any of the topics related to photography and editing, it simply felt like coming home again, back to my true self. I started my own project, as a safe space for myself to explore this amazing connection that I experience between visual arts and wellbeing, and therefore, 11 years ago I started writing and taking pictures for the blog and posting them here, as impRAWvise. This has been and still is an ongoing process for myself to experience my own safe space for creative exploration and creative flow, and by writing here, for the blog. Its been terrifying at the beginning, as I went though the fearful thoughts and projections like, “who am I to do this / write about this”, “what if its not artistic enough / useful enough”, and of course the overwhelming fear of being judged or criticised by others for doing what I do. But then I realised it doesn’t really matter, of course it is my own unique journey though life and some people will like what I do and post, while others will not like it, but that is ok, if something speaks to us and makes us feel a sense of deep purpose, meaning and flow, then it is totally worth it, as well as doing it and embracing it as a part of our own life journey. Sometimes it’s just ok to let go of the overthinking process, and embrace our life’s journey as it unfolds.

I just turned 34 and I consciously decided to simply reconnect with this part of myself. Let’s just call it my creative side. We all have a creative side, and we can all benefit from integrating and embracing our creative sides on a regular basis, therefore right here and now, I am going to set a new goal for myself, of where I want to be and how I want to experience life at 34, and that is: “At 34, I am going to give myself permission to explore again my creative side, do it on a regular, daily basis, and engage in activities that support this side of my own inner and outer life, defining these activities, as photography and editing, as part of my creative process.” I feel energised, inspired and at ease for doing this for myself, and therefore encourage you to do a little inner exploration of your own as well: what is that something that nurtures and nourishes your soul, but that you haven’t really paid attention to recently, or simply kept postponing just because “its not the right time yet” or so on and so forth, what is that one thing, that if you would give yourself the time and space to just explore, starting today, it would make a huge impact, not only on your mood and state of mind, but also, on your overall wellbeing? Its that one things that makes you feel a deep sense of connection and faith, that one thing that keeps you alive, that one thing that you know you are meant to do and to be, but you are perhaps simply scared to try out or explore. How about you just take a deep breath, pause for a moment and imagine: what if I would simply give myself the choice to explore that and see what unfolds? Let that sink. Stay openminded and flexible. Explore. Be yourself. Embrace it as it unfolds.